First Charter~Wrong Homeschooling choices...

This is basically the third installment of the story of coming to terms with my son's autism. So, quick over view. I suspected early on that something was amidst with my son, but from what little I thought I knew about Autism he didn't seem to fit that category but I couldn't figure out where he fit? Or if I should fit him into a mold. As he got older his struggles got bigger, and as I sought help, I kept getting a road blocks. I was told that he wasn't bad enough for him to get free help but if I would like to pay...which I didn't have the means. I also wasn't sure what to pay for? Now, with wisdom I know and understand what Occupational Therapy is, but back then, the only time I heard that word was in connection with work injury or accidents and it was to help people relearn what they lost.  I did know that school, were require by law to give you an IEP if you gave them a written request. I also just found out that schools will pay you to home school, well not exactly pay you, but they will give you a stipend of money you may use for classes and curriculums. 

There were several charters to choose from, a new charter to homeschooling (not to being a charter) was starting, they offered the most money. More money more classes my son can take, so of course I and a lot of other parents flocked to this charter. This charter promised money but when their brick and mortar school ran into problems they took our money and used it for that one. Leaving all of the vendors that were promised money for teaching our child, without cash. Some of the vendors came after the parents, others refused to ever accept charter funds, and a few went out of business because of this school misuse of funds. I can list story after story of things that happen due to this school, but the school no longer exist as a home school charter, and from what has been rumor won't be a charter school period much longer. But I would like to talk about their HORRIBLE HORRIBLE IEP process I went thru with them.

At first they tried to pressure me not to request an IEP, said I would lose my funding, so instead without my permission they changed his grade level. Then when I finally got tired of it and sent the letter, the run around for getting my IEP took forever...I requested the IEP in October our meeting was in May. Between October and May, I had to take my son to their charter school over a dozen times, each time they kept him for over an hour and wouldn't let me go back with them to see the testing. Then when I would call about the meeting there were excuses, in the mean time I finally got my Doctor to send me to a private evaluating for my son. I kind of like that evaluation, because though the doctor wanted to be alone with my son, I got to see everything as he had a room were I sat with a TV watching the whole thing. After, just three short appointments with him, he said that my son fascinated him. He said that basically to be autistic you have to show certain markers, and my son shows all but one and that one is suppose to be a major one, so technically according to medical diagnosis he shouldn't be Autistic but he is. The Doctor felt that despite that marker the other ones were so spot on, and he said that actually the one that he didn't hit, he actually would hit then when you retested he was fine. He said he tested that one about a dozen times and out of those times he hit the marker about 1/3 of the time.

So, at last my IEP meeting happened in May. And at this meeting I was told that my son is SERVER autistic and developmentally delayed. That he needed to be in a special school and I had no hope of him ever being able to learn beyond maybe basic skills, and I should except to care for him for the rest of his life. Needless to say I was beyond shocked, lucky for me I was on a Facebook community group page and vented there...someone that was suing this school for their IEP department anyways, sent me to their lawyer who allowed me to use his name for free even offered to write a letter. So I went to another IEP meeting with his business card showing on the desk in front of me along with a lot of other paper work. I finally understood what occupational therapy was, and what I wanted. I told them NO, I want 2 hours OT, 3 hours PT and I will accept the 1 hour speech that you said he needs. I am not accepting full emerge special day classes, and we will try my way for 6 months if there is NO improvement I will reconsider their diagnosis, because the head of school was scared of the lawyer he agreed, despite the head woman in charge of the IEP department saying it won't work, she also was annoyed because she would have to teach him or so she thought. I knew I was leaving the charter but I just wanted an IEP written the way I wanted it before I left to a better charter. I got it and left.

By the way this was 3 years ago now, my son's new IEP is still 2 hours OT, 1 hour PT and no speech. He has always met all of his goals, except for writing, and I don't think he will ever completely master writing with out it being mirrored but he is becoming such a good typist that I think the aspect of writing (ie stories and essays reasons why he still has PT help) will go away in a year maybe two, when he completely masters typing.

Next week I will be talking about the most exciting therapy I have ever found for my son...I so excited about this one. I will be talking about ABM therapy. 

What is typical for a boy and what is not?

So, my last blog left off, with my son being 5 and having panic attacks when he had to write freestyle. The interesting thing is he loved to trace but if I asked him from his own head to write something, it was not correct, and if I told him so he would be frustrated and would melt down. Its like he couldn't see that it was wrong, and I didn't know how to help him. I bought Hooked on Writing, Writing without Tears, note books with raised edges so he can feel where the pencil should go as he wrote. And every time he would copy what they said do to exactly right as he traced the letters then when it got to free writing the letters, he would convert back. Both he and I were frustrated.

Maybe I shouldn't push him until he was older, so I waited...and as I waited, I would attend these home school park days where though the parents would answer my questions, they weren't exactly welcoming, and their children weren't exactly playing with mine. My son was lonely, he wanted someone to play with, he wanted a friend, I wanted him to have a friend. I wanted him to be happy. I had already gone to the regional center and found no help. I had a feeling the school would be the same. I was at a lost. I didn't know what to do?

I still taught my son orally how to read and we did math, and would do art projects and learn about science. I guess I taught him social studies by example, he knew his address and phone number and about city, state, etc. Though even from the beginning I guess I could say I was unschooling in the way of Social Studies.

One day, at the park my son hit it off really well with another little boy, and the mom and I hit it off pretty well too. Then they didn't come back for awhile, which made me sad, and then one day they did, and then they started coming more regularly. Which turned into exchanging of phone numbers and extra play dates, and I am happy to say, 4 years later. That little boy is still my son's best friend in the world. They are born 1 year and 1 day apart. My son is older. So, he finally had a friend. And the mom and I had similar views on education. We thought co-ops schooling would be best, but didn't know how to start one. We were constantly on the look out for 2 or 3 other moms that had our views to try and start a co-op school type setting.

We found one for awhile but it fizzled rather quickly. Disappointing, we finally learned about a home school interactive, hands on project based, learning center. The plus the class sizes were small and the subjects were sooo cool, the draw back was the price. As a single mom I couldn't afford those prices. So, I went to a meeting that the owner put on. And there I learned about charter schools and how they would pay you to home school. There was a new charter school just starting...it was going to give the parents the most money any charter before had ever given out. I signed up...little did I know that this charter was the charter from hell....and little did the owner of the project based learning school know that in her recommending this charter almost cost her her business as they truly were a horrible school.

Next up...the school from hell...my son's first IEP...

I have to say with darkness comes light and from the school from hell, I still took away a valuable lesson.